


Track Unknown

by bloodscout



Series: 18 incredibly impressive ficlets written for the 18th birthday of the frighteningly fabulous fishoutofcustard [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Feels, Ficlet, M/M, Team Free Will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-18
Updated: 2013-01-18
Packaged: 2017-11-25 21:55:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/643358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodscout/pseuds/bloodscout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is Sam, not Dean, who buys Castiel a proper cassette player, with two slots and a pile of blank tapes. It is Sam, not Dean, who teaches Castiel how to make a proper mix tape, recording from one tape to the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Track Unknown

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lucie (fishoutofcustard)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Lucie+%28fishoutofcustard%29).



> This is the eighth fic of the 18 fics I wrote for [Lucie's](fishoutofcustard.tumblr.com) 18th birthday. I've made her a few mix tapes, but none as deep as Cas'

Castiel turns on the radio every time he’s in the Impala. Sometimes, they’re driving. Other times, Dean is just resting, surrounding himself with the calming feeling of home that he’s come to associate with his baby. Mostly, Castiel listens to Dean’s favourite stations, but he finds he likes other music, too. Some are bright and make Dean pretend to retch. Some are brassy and full-bodied. Some are soft, with just a voice and a guitar. Some are angry, full of shouting and anger. Some are about his father. He isn’t sure how he feels about those.

 

Castiel enjoys music so much that sometimes he goes out to the Impala even when Dean isn’t there, turns on the radio, and just sits. Dean finds him doing this one night. Instead of getting angry that Cas is in his car without his permission. He just smiles, and comes to join Castiel.

 

A few weeks later, when there is a lull in the cases, Dean gives Castiel a Walkman. They spend the better half of a day learning to use it, and the rest, they buy cassettes at thrift stores. Dean lets Castiel pick the ones with the nicest covers, because he knows he’ll like whatever music he hears.

From that point onwards, Castiel can often be found in the backseat of the car, eyes closed as he focuses entirely on whatever he is listening to.

 

It is Sam, not Dean, who buys Castiel a proper cassette player, with two slots and a pile of blank tapes. It is Sam, not Dean, who teaches Castiel how to make a proper mix tape, recording from one tape to the other.

 

Castiel does not have use for recording songs for some time, but one day he feels a twinge at the edge of his Grace when he’s listening to a song. It’s soft, and warm, and it says _this was my wedding song_.

Castiel copies it onto a tape, and he keeps it in the pocket of his trenchcoat at all times.

 

A few weeks later; _I danced to this at my high school prom_.

The next day; _This was playing when I proposed._

When Sam and Dean are asleep; _I sang this to my daughter._

When they are eating lunch in a diner; _I played this in my high school band._

Jimmy keeps recognizing songs, and Castiel keeps copying them until he has a whole tape full of them. He labels it, and puts it in Deans glove box.

When Dean plays it for the first time, the soft-warm feels like it’s crying.

 

Every few weeks, Dean finds a new mix tape; _Songs about eating, Songs with triangles, Songs with elephant trumpets_. He makes sure to play every one.

Eventually, the connections stop being so obscure; _Songs about love, Songs about friends, Songs about traveling_.

When Dean listens to the _Songs about friends_ tape for the first time, he is alone, and there is no-one to tell him if he is laughing or crying. The first song that plays is REM’s ‘It’s The End of the World as We Know It’, because in Castiel’s mind, friends and apocalypses are one and the same.

 

It hurts.

 

One day, Dean finds a tape, and it’s simply labeled _Dean_. He listens to that alone, too. Logically, he knows that it’s just a series of songs, but Dean can hear so much in it. He can hear his mother’s voice, Sammy’s laugh, his father’s stern approval. He thinks, if he listens hard enough, he can even hear _i love you. do you love me too?_

The next day, Dean sends Sam and Cas out to research together. He sits in the dingy hotel room, and makes his own tape.

He slips it into Castiel’s Walkman, so that the first think he will hear when he turns it on will be _yes, I do._


End file.
